Dream Logic?

I dreamed that I was being chased by two guys. I knew I wasn't going to be able to outrun them so I ran around a corner then ducked and lay down at the corner. When they came around I yelled out at them to scare them. They stopped and the second guy walks over to me and points to the first guy, he tells me that I only have to take the first guy as my second husband and that I would be his second wife...I got the feeling that the first guy really wanted me to be his first wife but he already had a first. I don't know...dream logic of some sort.

Funny thing is, I think I know where this comes from.

Tuesday:
Back to work after an enjoyable long weekend, which was reasonable. After, I went to Taekwondo where we practiced kicks and self defense throwdowns. As I was getting up from being 'put on the floor' I heard a crunchy feel/sound under my left kneecap. Yes it hurt a bit, but I continued with the practice, kicks against the bag and block and punch moves. It wasn't until I got home and was getting out of the car that I really felt the extent of the injury. Weight on my knee while bent = more pain than I care to bear. Rodicon suggested icing...good idea there. It's about 90% now and with a little more rest(after Suburbs..what! Can't possibly not go!) I'll be good to go again on Monday.

Wednesday:
Grumpy. Grumpy at work especially. And for no really good reason except that the plastic covering on the ream of paper I was trying to open WOULDN"T come open. A Rip, Tear, Kill later and there were plastic bits in tatters on the floor, but embarassingly enough my boss saw the scene. Hmph. What's even worse, is twice this week a swear has been uttered from my mouth at work....in their presence...!

Thursday:
Started work at 8:30a and didn't leave until 9p. After the regular shift I had volunteered to help with Canadian Firearms Safety Course testing. I was certified as an instructor last month and this was the first opportunity to put the certification to use. And it was quite enjoyable. My first student was of Canadian Aboriginal decent and for a moment I thought how good this was to see her there and know she was doing this to be a positive influence in her circle and as a suppliment to the traditions her community celebrates. And she was so very nervous. She wouldn't look at me through the introduction to the test, she just stood there staring straight to her front like a soldier at attention. I realized she needed to be put at ease or we were going to have a hard time with this. I put down my clipboard and moved a step closer and told her to just relax, and that she was going to do fine.She looked at me then and told me she was drawing a complete blank. What came next is not something that needs to be explained in detail, just know it felt right to do at the time. And it worked. For both of us. She succeeded in passing the test though it took the longest time to complete. She did well, working through the problems and scenarios with encouragement where I was allowed to give. I came away with a positive first time too.
Afterwards I went to BP's and chatted with D about my Purgatory Character and now have a firm idea that will translate well not just on paper but in action too. *g* Thanks D.

Friday:
*thinks* hmm...that was lastnight....went and picked my mom up from the RoadKing in Sherwood Park and had a very interesting chat with and got to know the Chaplin there a little better while my mom finished her talk with another fellow. I took her to my place to pick up my son and then we were off to East Side Marios.... OK, if a person is on a sugar(read carbohydrate) reduced diet, DON'T go to East Side Marios. Fuck I love pasta. *hangs head* Ok, so I had to allow myself to indulge. But when my mom and son ordered icecream after, no matter how hard they tried to tempt me I refused to budge. I had already had my desert as far as I was concerned. Went to be at midnight, slept in until 5:05a and woke in such a coughing fit as my throat was dry. Not to mention I have had a chest cold since last Sunday. A minor one considering the last two were borderline deathly(at least that was how they felt at the time). And after coughing out the yick and drinking two glasses of water, I read a bit from a book that I am supposed to give to Rodicon(when I finally see her *sigh* *g*) and fell asleep till just after 11a. That last 5 hrs was a good one too as I had a VERY interesting dream to do with being in a movie filmed on a historical but supernatural battlefield. Where the course of the battle was being reinacted in a weird(no combatants visible) fashion. It did not interfere with the filming but when we were standing on the field of battle we could see the ghostly stratagies being executed and it was completely unnerving. I think there was an airship involved too...but that could have been a part of the movie. Oh, and there was sex.....heh.

Satyrday:
Ok. So today..cooked breakfast for me and son...finish project, do all laundry, and my son is playing D&D with his friends tonight so it's a fine opportunity to go out and head out to Suburbs later. At least, that's the plan.

A Parable

A man and his son are walking single file through the forest. The man was so absorbed in showing his son nature at it's finest that he wasn't watching where he was stepping. Suddenly, he tripped over a treeroot and with an exclaimation fell to the forest floor. His son who was following along behind him skipped over the protruding root and came to his father's side. The father, slightly embarrassed, grinned then and took his son's profferred hand and stood up. The father, shaking his head but still smiling, toed the root then turned and they continued walking down the path, this time keeping an eye on the ground in front of him. The son eyed the root, then followed after his father, dividing his attention equally now between the ground in front of him as well as the next wonder of nature his father continued to point out.

It's a bit weak, and I was pretty tired when I wrote this....so...you know...

Learning To Love The Night

In the Light of the Waking Day

So, today is a beautiful day. I just needed to say that again.

I want to go to bed, but there are things I should be doing today. I should finish cleaning the dishes, tidy up the basement and do laundry, and sew H's costume. I'm tired, but I feel good.

Suburbs lastnight was kind of a different animal. Just a feeling for me really, but a reality for others I think. And that is their story to tell. The music was great though and I drank alot of Glenfiddich. I didn't get sick, but I couldn't drive right off when we were ready to leave. So it was N and I tripping to the nearest Tim Hortens, but they didn't have any food other than donuts and muffins so we walked down to Humpty's on 107th Ave and 104 Street. It wasn't cold on the way there, but we had to get a taxi back as the wind was in our face and it was quite cold. Finally sober, I drove us back to N's where we had some tea and during the course of the conversation we fell asleep. Those couches certainly are comfortable. 8:40a arrives, quite sunnily, before we woke. I went home shortly thereafter.

An interesting bit, he has The Book of Enoch and has lent it to me. I've been looking for this book at a price I can afford ever since I wanted to play Kingdom Come. However, now because I'm not now playing I stopped actively looking for it. It's always in hindsight that I find myself saying, "It'll happen when it's meant to happen". It nearly always does.

More updates later.

Car.

Issues.

Yep, late for work.

Dammit.

But. I. Fixed. It.

Nice car, good car.

Dreams in the Sky

It's not often that I have(or remember) dreams. I think it is because I do not get enough sleep in the night to get into them. But early this morning I had a brief dream that was quite vivid and detailed.



I was living in the future, in a world that had seen advancements in space exploration. Which is to say the spaceships of the time were much prettier...and shiny. I was traveling through a lightly wooded area to a house belonging to a mother and son. I don't remember why I was going there, but when I arrived in the yard the sky started to darken to twilight. I looked up then and saw a silver slightly futuristic A-10 Thunderbolt cross the sky low overhead and come to a hover right above the yard at about 100ft. Then another ship flew in coming to a hover. This one was blimp shaped and the lights on it were streaming down its flank. I thought then that a battle was going to occur because all of a sudden the sky was filled with aircraft and spacecraft of all different shapes, sizes and luminescence. The wind started to whip and I had this strange premonition that caused me to look at the open garage attached to the house I was going to and all I could see were strobe like striped lights, lighting up the inside of the dark garage. I felt at that time a compulsion to turn around and I saw that the Mother and her small son were standing behind me. I told them that I thought that *they*, the ships, were here for her and her son. She looked at me then guided her son to a large box partially buried in the ground. They got in and she drew the lid down on top of her. Effectively hiding her from *sight*. I didn't think that she was safe though as the box was rather flimsy. I thought perhaps going into the house would be a better plan but it didn't seem that she was afraid. She just calmly went into the box with her son. I woke just after that. Teh thing that struck me most was the detail of the crafts and that they were quite brilliant and sleek and covered in lights. It was the most amazing thing I wasn't afraid. And I quite vividly remember the A-10 Thunderbolt. I do wonder what happened to her and her son though. It was very strange.

Mood: Melancholy

Home is behind

The world ahead

And there are many paths to tread

Through shadow

To the edge of night

Until the stars are all alight

Mist and shadow

Cloud and shade

All shall fade

All shall...fade

Lyrics by Billy Boyd

This song accompanied me to work today. I like it alot, but this morning it seemed rather poignant.

As I was driving on 167th Ave to 66th Street(on my way to work) I looked up in the eastern sky, the sun was just rising and saw a jet and it's contrail streaking slowly up across the sky. It lifted that something inside me that revels in flying. The pilot left his mark, however temporary, and it never fails to inspire. It didn't stay long..but it was beautiful while it was there.

Lastnight's AntiValentine's Day Party was pretty subdued and not many showed, but it was nice to relax and socialize with people I don't know well. I brought chocolate for everyone as my contribution to the evening. It was given to me earlier in the day and because I have decided to cut sugar and bad carbs from my diet I wasn't going to eat them....as much as I longed too. *sigh*

By the time I drove R and N home it was nearly 2am...again. Damn, I really HAVE to stop staying up so late. Coffee only goes so far first thing in the morning. And I have been putting off a project lately too because work and other activities have been taking up so damned much of my free time. Well, the banquet is over now so I won't be working very late any longer. Nor through the weekend. But this week is really busy too. Monday was Taekwondo, Tuesday the get together(yeh, I could have passed but I didn't), Weds-tonight Jeff's Seahawks Football Team has their Annual General Meeting at 7p which we have to attend to sign him up(which means I might miss taekwondo at 8p.)so it is better to cancel the Taekwondo class I think for this week, because Thursday is BP's night which I am going to attend but not for long or late as I need to work on the project I have been putting off completing. I need to work on it Weds, Thurs and Friday too, as the person I am doing it for needs it really soon. I know I can finish it in a couple of hours, it's just getting the time set aside to do that. So the next three days I am making a concerted effort.

I will be going to Suburbs this Saturday however. I need that fix. And it is a long weekend coming up isn't it. So that's good too, as I really need the downtime(read sleep).

Well, I should get to work now...procrastinating here is a mistake. Too much to do, not enough time to complete it. *bigsigh*

I am falling down exhausted tonight. Was in bed by 3am lastnight, worked all day, drove home and got my workout clothes then headed off to the Westend to my first Taekwondo class.

I am very impressed with the instructor(as it should be). There were three of us - Leaha and I and another fellow in the class, and that was it. I expected to start at the very beginning but he had us doing things that were not for beginners. Some more advanced moves that I know I have to work on. Hard. He had some encouraging words for me afterward and I really appreciated it.

Work tomorrow, then the AntiValentine Party. Of which I think I will attend, and I think interested parties will know why if for no other reason. *g*

So. I went to bed, slept, woke at 8:30a got up, ordered roomservice(!)(*g*), tipped the Bellman $5., explained the 10000 Dreams Interpreted book I had lying on the bed, watched Elizabethtown while eating breakfast in bed, in just my underthings, showered, dressed in a leasurely fashion, called down to have a late checkout because my ride would be late, watched the first 15 minutes of Top Gun(a favorite of mine)("That was a MIG-28!! No one's been this close before!"), tidied up my bag, did a last check of my room for my stuff, and departed...


Ride is here !! Off and gone, bye! Or see ya soon.

So, it's over. And it's bloody late. The banquet/auction ran long and we didn't get out of there until 10 to 1am. In anycase, my ride home is wishywashy about when they want to drive home. I think they want to stay for lunch which means I won't get home until about 4p maybe 5p.

Having said that, this weekend was a pretty good success workwise, and I didn't have a bad time all told.

I'm coming home.

Posting from the hotel computer here in Calgary. Got the evening to myself so I'm going dancing. Apparently the Warehouse is supposed to be good. I heard the Machine is good too..if it is still there. Gonna go check it out. Need to dance tonight. Wish me luck in this strange city.

I had dinner earlier in this huge restaurant called the Smuggler's Inn. Whoo..Very nice place, such atmosphere....all I could think of is this would be a great place to host a Vampire game. Yep. Very nice. Expensive as hell though...but many levels and the lighting fixtures were swank!!! Captain Jack Sparrow would be right at home. Hehe. Seriously!

Miss you guys.

Update: I AM A SUBURBS SNOB!

The Warehouse was....interesting. When I first got there I wasn't sure if I should be upstairs with the dj or down with the bands. I chose upstairs as techno is...well, alright. yeh. $22. cover charge!!!! What's with that??? And when I went in...the dj was playing ACDC techno! *sigh* I dislike ACDC. And I hate to say this but it didn't register at first but I caught it when some guy lit up and started smoking like a chimney. *hangs head* I am such a Suburbs snob. And happy to be. My clothes reek dammit.

It is what it is.

Fuck you Kneejerk Reaction. I won't be subjected to your whim. I am in control of my own and I will live it as it is, not as you deem.

"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." --From Hamlet (I, v, 166-167)

And I will endeavor to live in harmony with them.

It is what it is.

Something freakish has been happening. Having lost about 40 lbs in the past year and a half, I've been at a plateau regarding weightloss over the past month or so, but since cutting added sugar and high carb foods from my diet(as of Sunday), I have dropped 15+ pounds since then. I'm not really eating less, except less(no) junkfood. Yeah, it's a lot and fast but I know I'm not going overboard on this. Perhaps I'll wait another week before getting too excited.

That being said, I need to go buy a new belt today. My belt is on the last hole!!! No more holes left to cinch up. Maybe a new pair of shoes too, the two regular pair I have are worn through. Hmm...Jeff needs a pair too so maybe we can kill two birds there. Yes *g*

If I get through this week, I am seriously considering taking some vacation time.

Lastnight..ok, early this morning, sometime between 1:30a and 2a I finally got to bed. Yeah, self inflicted, but worth it. I set my alarm and lay down composed to...sleep. I was so tired though. A heavy lethargy(erily physical) blanketed me and I knew nothing until 8:53a this morning. Yeaahhh...I was way late for work. What the hell happened to my alarm? It was set, I checked. It was a good sleep though, and I dreamed. I can't remember now what I dreamed, but it has been a long time.

I hung a couple pictures today. It was curiously satisfying. And I cleared the diningroom some also. Almost usable again.

I've decided that Peaches aren't something I am going to give up. Yeah, I don't get them enough to make a big difference anyways. Except in my own head...and tongue. Mmm... Sobeys had some today. They aren't quite ripe, but I'll let em chill for a bit and if it gets sunny I might rest one on the sill before eating *g*

Diet Dr. Pepper.....yes, one half of the equation solved.

Today was kind of a hard day to get through. Work was especially trying and damned if I didn’t feel like breaking into tears at one point. What’s with that?

I am hoping tomorrow is better.

Suburbs lastnight was quite decent, though my ears...yeah my right ear is still ringing. There was this one song early in the evening that was so loud it made me cringe and lose rhythem a few times. I am hoping it's only temporary. I danced and danced! And danced some more with N quite a bit, and with R a few times also. What a great way to get exercise and you know what? I found something this morning that pleases me to no end, my knees aren't nearly as sore as they have been in the past when dancing all night. This means my fitness must be improving. Fucking awesome! It's just the encouragement I need to renew my determination to lose this excess weight and shape up.

Another inspiration though is N. Aside from looking and feeling better, I know medically I am headed for more problems than the ones I have now if I don't reduce the weight. Soon. My biological father died at age 44 of a cardiac arrest and I don't want to be following in those steps. So it's yoga in the morning along with some calethetics(pushups and situps) each of which I enjoy immensely and dancing in my basement to an industrial compilation of favorite songs. Also, I have resolved to reduce my sugar intake and learn to cook on a lower carb level. It's a big change, and I know it won't be easy. I really do want to live a long, and be able to offer that health and longevity to my future lifemate. **Edit: No assumptions there.

It's amazing, the people that time brings into your life. To help teach you what you need to get through to the next stage.

Lastly, I spent from 3:30a(after Suburbs) to 9:30a in Humpty's with N just talking. I was so tired but we covered quite a few topics. No, no details, except to say I have had a lot to review today and I am more sure now the direction I'd like to go. Also, I am more certain that Channeling Viggo was indeed inspired...not however by Viggo. The title didn't feel right by the time I finished writing it.

A year to grow into

Few words can describe the quiet contentment I feel today.

Lastnight was very full and once again I didn't close my eyes until 5:30a. The techno was a little more than I am used to dancing to but the final song was brilliant. A vocal of Dervish's choosing of which I didn't know the words, but the melody was soothing. And Mitternacht...*sigh* Worth the price of admission right there.

I drove N home, and went in for a little while....actually we talked in my car for about an hour but I had to ask to use his wc because I had to pee so bad it hurt. We talked in his front room for a while, he showed me his trinket boxes. I am such a fiend for teh shiny. And books...need a better look at those sometime. Of course I was just a little guilty of keeping him up late when he did have to work today. Difficult to let something that pleasant end. I left shortly after 5a.

We're meeting at Suburbs tonight. We've agreed the music is much better on Saturday nights. My son is going to be D&Ding with his friends tonight too so I don't have to worry about him. Also, it wasn't really a hard sell to have the chance to see him again so soon.

I 'm going out with my Mom and Jeff for lunch now. Mom is taking me for Sushi as she was not able to take me on my birthday. Heh, last year was a crappy birthday. So far this year has shaped into something so much better :)